Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
