I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
