we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
