WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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