Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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