just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
