I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
