what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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