handjob tips. give me some.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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