I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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