ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
