dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
