The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
