Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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