you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
