I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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