Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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