I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
