Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
