The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
