Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
