Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
