No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
