I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
