I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
