you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize