Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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