# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i've created a new STD.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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