dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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