That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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