You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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