absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
