try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
