we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
