Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
