I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
