there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How does one acquire holy water?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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