Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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