Jerry, you need to find god
operation harelip BJ is a go
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
