it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
