none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize