yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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