"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
