they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
