That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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