I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Randomize
