I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think we might need a safe word for this...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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