i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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