You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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