I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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