Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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