Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
