That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
