My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Even my vagina gasped.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
