IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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