I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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