She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
