My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
