You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
