Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
