he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
