i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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