My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
