So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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