If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
