idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
