$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
