Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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