Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
