no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
