Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the day after is always just damage control
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We have started to decorate penises.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
