Whod you bang
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
