Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We need a shit load of segways right now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
