I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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