So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
