marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
