im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
