He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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