I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
