Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Terrible idea I love it
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
