His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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