My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
