therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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