New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
