At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
