Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
