I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
