lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize