i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
