Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
